Oct. 22nd, 2017 – 4:08pm
So, I recently started a Style Savvy blog, and given the nature of my 'Overly Personal Blog' and the way my life is going currently, I think it might be in my best interest to actually shut this whole thing down and just use it to bounce people to my Style Savvy blog and reviews blog. (Or maybe not the reviews blog, since it needs a serious overhaul.)
I've been sick all year, like some kind of joke, so all of my projects have gone completely out the window. Everything. The one and only thing I've really been able to do is play a stupid fashion game (well... actually a great game, but... hard not to dis it when I feel this way) and make posts about it on one of North America's most time-consuming online social communities. (Seriously, it takes between four and seven minutes for me to slog through Miiverse to upload photos and make posts, assuming I can write the post in less than a minute. Logging on sometimes takes over a minute. Since I can't upload multiple photos at once...)
I used to be extremely keen on 'just being myself'... but the overlap here with a game played by children and an internet populated mainly by people who I find, frankly, terrifying...
It isn't a time for 'being myself' or for taking risks anymore. I'd hoped to actually kind of 'come to life' or develop some excuse for a social life, but certain circumstances beyond my control keep denying me this, no matter how hard I work on them, or what way I work on them using.
Personally, I look at my own posts and feel that I like that person. (For me, that's an unbelievable accomplishment. However, I won't waste time here explaining why.) Whoever wrote that, I like that. Why change it? But then you bring in other people. Then you bring in the reality that I have no social network and no community and can't have one – my beliefs, feelings, my body, and my basic existence don't mesh with the LGBT community, the right wing and/or the left wing (which are part and parcel of the same system – two halves of the same body), the millennials, or pretty much anything else other than old hippies 25 to 40 years older than I am... (An age group I have seriously considered limiting myself to dating within.)
Damn, can I do anything else but rant? I've seen some evidence that I can, but I'm never healthy enough for long enough at a stretch to be able to turn that shit into anything.
So now I'm left wondering whether I should revert all of my posts to drafts to empty the blog or just put up a notice ushering people on to my less scummy, somewhat more legitimate (but still mostly empty and fundamentally worthless) blogs.
Finished Oct. 22nd, 2017 – 4:23pm
